Concerning the Silent Grief of Mother’s Day
Today is
Mother’s Day, a civic holiday filled with cards, brunch reservations, social
media tributes, and church services that often feature a special recognition of
mothers. But for many, Mother’s Day isn’t a day of celebration. It’s a day of
silent grief.
For those
battling infertility, this day is a sharp reminder of what we long for but have
not yet received, and are not guaranteed or entitled to receive. And we know we
are not alone. Some in church services (or staying home) today carry the pain
of barrenness, miscarriage, or the loss of a child. Some have lost their own
mothers recently and grieve while others celebrate. Some may feel the sting of
a strained or broken relationship with their own mothers. Other women, though
they faithfully serve Christ, have never married or had children, and feel invisible
in settings where womanhood is synonymous with motherhood.
Mother’s
Day is hard because the church, though perhaps well-intentioned, can turn this
cultural holiday into something far heavier than it was ever meant to be. Some may
skip church entirely on this day as a valid survival mechanism. Not because
they don’t love God’s people, but because the church too often makes motherhood
the pinnacle of womanhood. Pastors may speak as though every woman will one day
be a wife or a mother. Women who are not—whether by calling, circumstance, or
loss—are unintentionally sidelined.
Churches need
to do much better to not center our corporate worship around man-made, civic
holidays like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day (and don’t even get me started on the
idolatry of America for patriotic holidays). These are simply not commanded
elements of worship. Christ and His gospel are. While it may be appropriate to
acknowledge these days in announcements or outside gatherings or fellowship,
they should never be the basis of corporate worship.
So how do
we proceed?
First,
we respond with empathy, recognizing that days like today are not joyful
for everyone.
Second,
we affirm that a woman’s worth is not found in marriage or motherhood, but in Christ
and Christ alone.
Third,
we need to enable our churches to celebrate the full spectrum of
faithful Christian womanhood across all seasons of life.
To anyone
who are grieving today, who feel unseen, or alienated, or less than…you are not
forgotten by our Lord. Your worth is not in your marital status, parental
status, or family role. It is in Christ alone, who is your life (Colossians 3:4).
I pray that our churches will reflect that truth in how we gather, speak, and
love one another.
