Concerning the Silent Grief of Mother’s Day

 Concerning the Silent Grief of Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day, a civic holiday filled with cards, brunch reservations, social media tributes, and church services that often feature a special recognition of mothers. But for many, Mother’s Day isn’t a day of celebration. It’s a day of silent grief.

For those battling infertility, this day is a sharp reminder of what we long for but have not yet received, and are not guaranteed or entitled to receive. And we know we are not alone. Some in church services (or staying home) today carry the pain of barrenness, miscarriage, or the loss of a child. Some have lost their own mothers recently and grieve while others celebrate. Some may feel the sting of a strained or broken relationship with their own mothers. Other women, though they faithfully serve Christ, have never married or had children, and feel invisible in settings where womanhood is synonymous with motherhood.

Mother’s Day is hard because the church, though perhaps well-intentioned, can turn this cultural holiday into something far heavier than it was ever meant to be. Some may skip church entirely on this day as a valid survival mechanism. Not because they don’t love God’s people, but because the church too often makes motherhood the pinnacle of womanhood. Pastors may speak as though every woman will one day be a wife or a mother. Women who are not—whether by calling, circumstance, or loss—are unintentionally sidelined.

Churches need to do much better to not center our corporate worship around man-made, civic holidays like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day (and don’t even get me started on the idolatry of America for patriotic holidays). These are simply not commanded elements of worship. Christ and His gospel are. While it may be appropriate to acknowledge these days in announcements or outside gatherings or fellowship, they should never be the basis of corporate worship.

So how do we proceed?

First, we respond with empathy, recognizing that days like today are not joyful for everyone.

Second, we affirm that a woman’s worth is not found in marriage or motherhood, but in Christ and Christ alone.

Third, we need to enable our churches to celebrate the full spectrum of faithful Christian womanhood across all seasons of life.

To anyone who are grieving today, who feel unseen, or alienated, or less than…you are not forgotten by our Lord. Your worth is not in your marital status, parental status, or family role. It is in Christ alone, who is your life (Colossians 3:4). I pray that our churches will reflect that truth in how we gather, speak, and love one another.